When I grow up, I want to be a...

Doctor, lawyer, teacher, scientist or maybe an accountant like my Daddy...

Nope, I think I would like to be a photographer.

Here I am with my first "still model"

He is a good friend to agree to pose for me.

Thank you, Elmo. I love you

xxx

Josiah

Are you ready, Elmo?

Elmo, say cheese...

Okay, this shot looks good....

The finished photos...

A closer shot....perfect :)

When will I see you again?

I have consciously been avoiding having to blog these past few weeks. Why? Because I am feeling a bit down and I am just so L.O.S.T.

Lost, feeling lost, losing my mind.... you get the picture. To clarify and maybe help you understand, let's see... My in-laws went home after 6 weeks, then my parents left after being with us for 4 weeks. Josiah is not making a lot of progress in potty training and I have had to spend every morning in nursery trying to get him to like it. I just struggling with all the changes and having to put on a "it's okay" face for Josiah whilst feeling absolutely crap inside. I have difficulty falling asleep and yet hate to have to wake up to face the reality in the morning. Crazy, crazy time for me.

The pain mainly in having to send Josiah to nursery and seeing him screaming and crying every.single.day. It breaks my heart and is just as painful for me to turn my back and walk away calmly. I know it will get better but really wished that it would "get better" sooner. It makes it harder for both of us too knowing that this nursery is not the right one for us. The nursery itself is wonderful with a huge sandpit and playground, lots of different types of toys...etc But the staff there, my goodness, they all look so uptight and unfriendly. No one really talks to the kids there, no smiles, no laughter.....even their singing session is depressing. The teacher puts on a tape and holds up a book to show the kids. She does not sing, the kids are not encouraged to sing....my goodness, what is the point of a singing session. His assigned key-worker is cold and unfriendly. She is always in a rush to go for her "break time" and leaves the nursery before I can even ask her about Josiah. Enough said. I have made the decision to change nursery today and I hope the next nursery would be better for the both of us.

In the mean time, I am going to enjoy our time together again, going to playgroups together. I know that Josiah would love nursery when he meets with the right key person with the right attitude. He is so easy going and loves to be around other kids so this step of independence is quite due. Plus, I am hoping that he would gain from being with other kids around meal time and learn to feed himself. He is the only nearly three year old I know who still does not self feed and it is beginning to bug me. I love to feed him (which ensures that he actually eats) but I know that it is time for him to learn this new skills which I have failed to impart to him. I am not a good mum when it comes to thing like this and here I am trying to delegate it to the good people at his nursery :p

Typical. When the going gets tough, the tough gets a "helper". Hehehehe....

Happier times - group photo in Bruge, Belgium